To Whine or Not to Whine-That is the Question!
Today started out wonderfully! Everyone was cooperative, helpful, playful and encouraging to one another. (Surprised me, too!) We played some games (Star Wars, Mama/baby/family) and then the 3 of the them played ALL BY THEMSELVES WITHOUT CONFLICT for at least 30+ minutes. To some parents, that is probably not a big deal. But to a home with 3 kids under 4, it's a huge praise! (Especially when you factor in Elizabeth's strong will and desire to be in the middle of most things that the boys do.) They played Robin Hood and "saved the poor people from the rich peoples taxes." (CLARK) They built their pirate ship and sailed to "the north pole to gather some polar bear fur. But don't worry, we'll be sure to dress warmly. Look, I see an iceburg in the distance."(FOSTER). And even played house-"Yes, I'm the Mama. You be the Grandpa, and you be the husband. OK-let's go to our meeting. We'll be back in a little while baby. Don't you wor-wy. I always come back. Let me give you lots of hugs and kisses. Come on husband-I'm weady."(Elizabeth) The day seemed destined for great fun!
Then, reality sets in. We had to take E to the doctor---no fever or runny nose, just lots of coughing for several days. She cries her head off b/c she wanted to snap her jacket herself, go out a different door than we went out of, and wanted me to hold her. (my arms are full of purse, diaper bag, sippy cups, keys, C's inhaler, etc.) Of course, she does no coughing during the exam OR while all 4 of us wait in our shoe box of a doctor's office. She is wheezing some and our doctor prescribes some steroids. (OH JOY!) We LOVE our pediatrician, especially for his patience and ability to communicate. Thank goodness for the patient part b/c as he is TRYING to communicate, Clark totally melts down in loud/dramatic sobs. (Apparently I hurt his feelings b/c I chuckled when I told him the picture he thought was me was not.) I politely reassured him I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings but the DRAMA continued. Meanwhile, Foster is egging him on "encouraging" him not to whine (pot calling the kettle black) while Elizabeth is mistaking me for a jungle gym. It's 80 degrees in the box. I'm sweating, trying to politely take in what our dear pediatrician is saying, and totally interupting him as I try to quickly address annoying preschool behavior (repeatedly!) We both laugh, he handles Clark lovingly and I correct E and F. Tears are dry, the kids and I huddle together and do "1-2-3--TEAMWORK." (We often do this before leaving the car, etc to remind everyone of good attitudes and cooperation. It was a joke this morning!)
Then we go to the pharmacy to get the meds. C and E are thankful for the lollipops they got from the doctor's office, but F is holding out the the pharmacy will have the little gumballs he "really likes." "We'll just check Mom. We'll just check" he repeats. Well, of course they don't have those today and he politely asks to go to another drug store to get one. Hmmm-it doesn't take long for "NO" to come out of my mouth b/c I'm really thinking ---Have you lost your mind????????????????????? He proceeds to lay down on the floor, whine that he really wants a piece of gum, then start kicking his legs when I say absolutely not. HE'S ALMOST 4 YEARS OLD! I gave him "the look", told him to get his self control together, then ignored him. He continued crying (over a piece of gum!) and went to the other side of the room. C and E became enthralled with a Bambi book I was reading to them and F joined us. His joining us included him choking himself with his own hands---not really, but it was quite comical in hindsight. His hands were around his neck, he acted like he was coughing, and kept looking suprised when we made eye contact that I didn't say anything. The 8 yr old next to us kept nudging his mom with eyes as big as saucers. F finally stopped after getting no response. C lost it again as we were leaving b/c he wanted to be the "gentleman" and hold the door. I was over it! We were going home. No zoo for a few hours like we had planned. We're going home.
I have never seen attitudes change so quickly! "Please Mom. I'll obey. I won't have a bad attitude anymore. " "I'll stop whining." "Really Mama. I've changed my attitude." It was a shining star example of what happens when I address my children's BEHAVIOR, not their HEART. I'm ashamed to say that this morning, I was satisfied for their behavior to change without addressing the sin that had made it so awful in the first place. I gave in, chose the easy path, and hoped their angelic promises would be kept. Their hearts (and therefore their behavior) would continue to wave their sinful flags until I took the time to deal with it appropriately.
We did go to the zoo, for all of about 5 minutes. Enough time to unload everyone, get everyone at their spot at the picnic table, and have each one whine/pitch a fit/or yell. I wish I could've captured the looks on their faces when I packed up the lunch, blanket, and bags and told them to get back into the "truck." Total disbelief. Like, surely not. We've been able to do this all morning without true consequence, why start now? The tears poured, screams yelled, and bodies wiggled. We headed home.
To be continued....(the day gets better, truly!)
Then, reality sets in. We had to take E to the doctor---no fever or runny nose, just lots of coughing for several days. She cries her head off b/c she wanted to snap her jacket herself, go out a different door than we went out of, and wanted me to hold her. (my arms are full of purse, diaper bag, sippy cups, keys, C's inhaler, etc.) Of course, she does no coughing during the exam OR while all 4 of us wait in our shoe box of a doctor's office. She is wheezing some and our doctor prescribes some steroids. (OH JOY!) We LOVE our pediatrician, especially for his patience and ability to communicate. Thank goodness for the patient part b/c as he is TRYING to communicate, Clark totally melts down in loud/dramatic sobs. (Apparently I hurt his feelings b/c I chuckled when I told him the picture he thought was me was not.) I politely reassured him I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings but the DRAMA continued. Meanwhile, Foster is egging him on "encouraging" him not to whine (pot calling the kettle black) while Elizabeth is mistaking me for a jungle gym. It's 80 degrees in the box. I'm sweating, trying to politely take in what our dear pediatrician is saying, and totally interupting him as I try to quickly address annoying preschool behavior (repeatedly!) We both laugh, he handles Clark lovingly and I correct E and F. Tears are dry, the kids and I huddle together and do "1-2-3--TEAMWORK." (We often do this before leaving the car, etc to remind everyone of good attitudes and cooperation. It was a joke this morning!)
Then we go to the pharmacy to get the meds. C and E are thankful for the lollipops they got from the doctor's office, but F is holding out the the pharmacy will have the little gumballs he "really likes." "We'll just check Mom. We'll just check" he repeats. Well, of course they don't have those today and he politely asks to go to another drug store to get one. Hmmm-it doesn't take long for "NO" to come out of my mouth b/c I'm really thinking ---Have you lost your mind????????????????????? He proceeds to lay down on the floor, whine that he really wants a piece of gum, then start kicking his legs when I say absolutely not. HE'S ALMOST 4 YEARS OLD! I gave him "the look", told him to get his self control together, then ignored him. He continued crying (over a piece of gum!) and went to the other side of the room. C and E became enthralled with a Bambi book I was reading to them and F joined us. His joining us included him choking himself with his own hands---not really, but it was quite comical in hindsight. His hands were around his neck, he acted like he was coughing, and kept looking suprised when we made eye contact that I didn't say anything. The 8 yr old next to us kept nudging his mom with eyes as big as saucers. F finally stopped after getting no response. C lost it again as we were leaving b/c he wanted to be the "gentleman" and hold the door. I was over it! We were going home. No zoo for a few hours like we had planned. We're going home.
I have never seen attitudes change so quickly! "Please Mom. I'll obey. I won't have a bad attitude anymore. " "I'll stop whining." "Really Mama. I've changed my attitude." It was a shining star example of what happens when I address my children's BEHAVIOR, not their HEART. I'm ashamed to say that this morning, I was satisfied for their behavior to change without addressing the sin that had made it so awful in the first place. I gave in, chose the easy path, and hoped their angelic promises would be kept. Their hearts (and therefore their behavior) would continue to wave their sinful flags until I took the time to deal with it appropriately.
We did go to the zoo, for all of about 5 minutes. Enough time to unload everyone, get everyone at their spot at the picnic table, and have each one whine/pitch a fit/or yell. I wish I could've captured the looks on their faces when I packed up the lunch, blanket, and bags and told them to get back into the "truck." Total disbelief. Like, surely not. We've been able to do this all morning without true consequence, why start now? The tears poured, screams yelled, and bodies wiggled. We headed home.
To be continued....(the day gets better, truly!)
posted by Matt and Amy Snow at 7:54 PM
2 Comments:
Oh, Amy-I feel like I am reading about my own life....Thankfully not the everyday, but definitely the some days. GOOD FOR YOU for packing up the lunch!!!
It is so good to see I am not the only one that has those kind of days. I feel like a monster when I have to take away a privilege, but like you I know that they will never learn unless there are consequences to their actions.
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